"Brad Pitt's hell-bride emerges from the bog..."

Slate reviews Beowulf in verse:
Far had he fallen with Polar Express,
An animated washout whose technique
Obscured its content, thanks to CGI.
The Z-man's new technique, performance capture,
Looked creepy in those days. The critics snarled.

But brave Zemeckis takes them on again
With Beowulf, a 3-D spectacle
Like none before. The Anglo-Saxon poem,
Dreaded by school kids since the world was young,
His manly grip reshapes to graphic novel.
It's a good review, but no matter how many of them this film garners, and in spite of Neil Gaiman's presence as adapter, which at the very least means that someone in the vicinity of the production gets what the poem is about, I have absolutely no desire to see it. It looks like the unholy love child of The Polar Express and 300, and my lack of desire to see it is equal or greater than the sum total of my lack of desire to see either of these films.


Anonymous said…
I'll avoid this one, just like I did "Polar Express." No matter how well the CGI wizards imbue their film characters with the illusion of life, they can't make the eyes "live." Now, if they would make a zombie movie instead...

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