TEACHER: We're the Alliance. We're good and noble and only want to help everybody, and we'll totally kick your ass if you dare say different.
YOUNG RIVER: I don't care, you're meddlesome and you poke things into people's heads.
TEACHER: No we don't. *Pokes pen into River's head*
You get the idea. Now I'm suddenly reminded of a similar condensation of Cuaron's Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, and I desperately want to reread it.
Spoilers, obviously (I particularly like the way the author distinguishes between the reactions of non-Firefly fans, Firefly fans who are seeing the film for the first time, and Firefly fans who are seeing the film for the nth time).